| Writing |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|10:27 pm] |
There it was, the idea of the ages, the Zeitergeist and god was it a monster. With mandibles stretching on out for all the fads of the century; Furbies, Ngages, Lost, Twilight all were sucked into its gaping maw. These mandibles, numbering in the thousands stabbed the aread around it for any and all fleeting moments in the crazed effort to create something new from the present. Instead it simply gorged itself of the moment, becoming stagnant until everything within a 300 meter radius was made into the moment. Dave shuddered to even think of that possibility.
"Lads," an elderly looking man shouted across the courtyard. An elderly lecturer of literature, he seemed to know the score, even if he did flap his arms about him quite a bit.
"I Justine of Deakin, know what led to the creation of such a thing, and I alone can bring it back to a slumber." At this point several of the men closest to me started to grumble.
"Figures another political stunt for increased funding."
Justin moved his windmilling arms towards the group. "You poets! Stop that dissent at once." A mandible moved in to grab the chair he sat on. "Instead you must work a cage of constant theme in which to stop a mutation." With that he jumped off the chair as it catapulted back to the growing mass. "This monstrosity," he said as he flailed towards the Zeitergeist, "must be stopped!" |
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| Optimism |
[Nov. 12th, 2009|12:41 am] |
You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
Ok an easy mantra you'd think. Yet to keep this little tid bit in my head today, I could not for the life of me resuscitate it to my laboured lungs of optimism. And so I sit here wondering if you feel the whole world is not positive, affirmative or latched on, why should you keep a happy smile?
Well you and the world, you see have had a bit of a disagreement, and the thing is the world is so much bigger than you. It wants to walk all over you, squish you, get your little view of the world outta the way.
Woah on there world! I may be small but would ya look at that, my view will still be there tomorrow, still be there next week and still be there when I die. So screw you world, roll over me some more, I'll take it. Cause deep down inside, I know'll get my day.
****
Of course there is another way of looking about this, the truly optimistic view in which there are no faults, just an unending road of complements and good will, filled in with trials, naturally made for you to simply succeed at. No world to stop you here. (not that it's an enemy).
Oh well, not my cup of tea that one, reminds me of running around with your eyes shut. You'll eventually fall over, but you'll never know why. So I'll stick with my idea of being pushed back because of what I believe, all alone. Then again everyone walks alone sometimes.
Well wishing you a happy black door painting day,
Dan/Yoddeuss/Me
I wish it was red though.
P.S I take overtures of friendship, one offs, a glance, as something that really, truly means something in any relationship. Eventually because of this trust, I am wrung out of all value that exists, until both I and the relationship are dead. That is when I'll call it off. That is when I strike out, when there is no doubt that there was never any relationship.
Then again this all could be a result of delusion on my part, but since all I ask for is a relationship perhaps a relationship, even a friendly one is too much to give.
Or I could secretly be wanting more. Meh |
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| Something on my phone |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|09:01 pm] |
This is something I found on my phone from a while back, it was a reply to a text. Seems interesting enough.
What's up?
You my man and a nest of flatness like a long gone coke.
Exhausted of feeling, the mist wafts in my soul.
Too much gone, I wonder where?
Feelings dark do lumber around as I see myself lessen to the world in which I am now sitting.
Romance?
Alone I will stay.
Till you message lightens the day
Grateful for a friend I remain...
What else is up ? I managed to do a little bit of revision for Understandindg asia and play the sax.. As for other days, I've run, cleaned up, gone out to uni to finish off assignments... AND! decided on my subjects for next semester.
Yet I don't feel too excited.
Oh well
More creative writing to come!
Dan/ Yoddeuss/ Me |
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| Job searching |
[Oct. 31st, 2009|04:27 pm] |
Seems to be filled with either, interesting but no chance of getting in, or boring with a side of cash. So I've been trying for the things that'll interest me, but there seems to be nothing biting at the moment.
Oh well... In other news I've finished university, had an awesome idea for an adventure game, suffered the start of summer and grown fearful of the Voiceworks line-up of talent that I seem to be very far away from. In any case I'm in that region of time and space where everything is feeling murky. Not murky bad, but murky enough to make me want to rinse my feet because they're covered in mud from sloshing around for opportunities. Opportunities for what, you say? Opportunities in general or things that I think are of benefit to me. Say creative writing, going out with friends, talking to people, learning guitar, its all a bit of a mess of silver linings. This guarantees it some degree of awesomeness.
Hmph! Listen to me complaining of a little lull in life. Short and long answer to all of this will be things don't happen in an instant. Then again I've spent a bit of time on most of my hobbies, I should be able to reap what I sow. Which I won't be able to do because I'll have forgotten what has been sown. Sigh*
Now for something exciting. The awesome dream/idea I had for an adventure game is basically an Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, except with a different time setup for both characters. As in Sophia would be searching for some sort of ancient Chinese treasure whilst Indiana would be retracing her footsteps to eventually, catch up with her or her corpse, killed at the hands of some sort of local warlord. So each scene would be prefaced with Sophia doing a whole bunch of explorative/archaeological things until she decides where to go next. The game would then cut, transition forward in time to when Indiana would show up on the screen whereupon he would find out about the people following Sophia and either choose to follow her or the local bad guy. Occasionally the paths would diverge and split due to needing to find extra information, loop in some political back story, mystic mumbo jumbo, the start with a plane crash and you'd have yourself an adventure game in the same vein as The Fate of Atlantis.
Other than that I've also made a mini radio drama of recruiting a writer, in a world where ideas need to be chained (typecast?) into the written form, I'm half thinking of recording it all myself, but I'd want to expand it (and double check it) before I put a lot of effort into it.
I'm still undecided about my subjects for next year, as my programming semester has been exceptionally infuriating, Literature seems ok, but a bit too poncy and Japanese is Japanese, hardish but fun. I know I want to do Creative Writing and two of the first year Philosophy, History, archaeology, History, Classical Literature, Politics subjects, but for my other 2nd year and breadth I have no idea of what to choose. So I guess I'll just wait it out for a bit and choose later this month.
My plans for the future month are to:
Write
Job
Drive
Music
My way away.
So to all, good luck with your respective exams and enjoy a good holiday.
Thanks,
Dan/ Yoddeuss |
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| Sated |
[Oct. 27th, 2009|09:19 pm] |
For the time being... which isn't something that springs to my mind right away after uni or being tired. Usually it is worry of everything that isn't, and what is to come. Both of which I can't give a flying fig about, so I'll be here putting down some dreams.
I'll have a kiss, that I won't break from.
A sleep to emerge from.
A tear to remember
And joy to keep the soul warm.
#######################
A clash of the drums from next door, break the reverie of chatter. Two shapes lie side by side, clothed, but not touching, looking into each others eyes. Their breath, syncronised gave rise to each of their bodies as they drew in and out, their pupils dialating in sync. Then almost from nowhere a smile comes up from the woman, while the others hand reaches across to touch her. Reaching closer to the face the fingers rest lightly on the lips, then following a strand of hair, glide up to her head, to only fall away back to the shape. It's all he can afford, everything else would crush the feeling.
Another clang and the syncronisation falls away, the eyes flutter around, the smile forced. Nothing seemed as real.
"I've got to go," the shape, masculine, said alloud, away from the woman.
"Why?" She asked concerened, yet she did not turn to him.
"For a dream to really live, you're not allowed to have it so easily," he said turning around. " You're supposed to not even believe it to be true, a secret that even yourself can't believe. And when it's right there about to be grabbed, you let it go free."
He stood up and walked to the door, the drums periodically banging.
"The true dreams always come back to you" |
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| Back home |
[Oct. 24th, 2009|07:04 am] |
AND!
My room is a death trap, well that, or the logistics of having a window right next to my bed is causing me to develope some sorta Turbeculosis. So now I am up and busy writing up this little journal piece.
I've been feeling a tad empty for a while now, not for any particular reason, but just enough for me to feel a bit strange about it. I mean usually you've got a few things that feel concrete, like friends, families, hobbies, that you can keep coming back to. For me, now, everything seems really obiquitise (ubiquitos?) and liquidy, like I can't keep a grip on any of it.
A part of me realises that everything, all states are merely transitionary, but this... distancing seems pretty strange.
Perhaps I need to start writing more creative fiction or prose. Hmmm, shrug*, I guess I'll have a look around sometime next week, when I don't have to worry about projects. In the mean time, short doodles of ideas will have to do. |
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| I'm being lazy |
[Oct. 15th, 2009|04:17 pm] |
Yay? I'm not as overjoyed as I thought I would be when this happened, but here I am. Being slack. Which I guess I can afford to be for the next two weeks, still I worry about not doing much. Sigh*
Well living with Grey is pretty fun and more or less liberating. I'm not sure if there's a yet yet. Cooking's easy, cleaning's easy, stress free and well enjoyable. So far I'm watching tv.
University's fun, yet because of two okayish, but not excellent marks and a bad streak of Jap, I'm feeling a tad dumb and thus am scared of my own intellect or lack thereof. So this streak of laziness plus the aforementioned bad marks has me a tad worried. But not freaked out, just a tad concerned.
What else? I'm not sure where I'm going in life generally, I haven't made many breakthoughs, I'm just popping along. Should I be trying something more or should I be letting it lie.
I dunno, enjoyment will come first though.
So things should be fun.
Dan/Yoddeuss |
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| Living in Kew |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|01:33 am] |
Hey everyone, quick post to let people know I'm in Kew for the next month or so with a friend. Would add more but it's 1:30 am.
More to Come! |
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| I'm at uni |
[Oct. 5th, 2009|12:38 pm] |
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I'm at uni yet again since the holidays are over. And so far it's pretty good... I'm not sure what I was planning on saying here but its nice to be able to sit back and relax. To type here what I will while supposedly studying. Oh well.... |
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| Self look |
[Sep. 29th, 2009|07:09 pm] |
Here you are presented with the beginnings of a man, who stresses and fears about the world so much, he pays no attention to the spirit of the holidays. He pushes at things not meant for pushing, himself, his vision, creative processes all to say...what? Grant a satisfaction? Well yes of course, a story or two goes a long way to make you feel satisfied.
Satisfied from what though? From simply being, to lying around. An escape from the self? I dunno, now after this spiel and a short rummage through several wikipedia sites there is no dissatisfaction. Just a weary cut off feeling of contentedness, yet I keep going on. Weird.
As for the beginnings of a man, I don't know how to put forward the sense of self without being pretentious or egotistical, so I'll try again. I'm here 19, unemployed with a skewed sense of direction. I work hard at things, not always with good results. I'm a happy friendly person whose good nature gets him into trouble, yet I know that to some people it gets them through the day. I'll stick to my beliefs no matter how foolish and at the cost of appearing stupid bring them up again constantly. I try to be honest, so occasionally I'll tell the worse type of truth or refrain from answering. I easily take offense from friends as I take a lot of stock within them, yet a stranger can easily say anything. I admire people too easily an will yearn after them so much I'll place myself to a lower importance.
And that's all I'll say for now because either I'll say something that I won't be comfortable with or it'll be completely untrue. As a shout to the world declaring who I am, a man of 19, I feel much too embarrassed to go on and tell the world "Look, I am great." Instead I'll just sit here and wonder to myself how did all that is I happen so very quickly? I'll stare contemplative into my soul to come to terms with what I am and what I am not and what I'm too uncomfortable to realise until I am all satisfied.
I will say one last thing. I fear so much so the lack of things that even surrounded by that which is there, knowing the limits I will despair. Despair until what I am, me touches something of such wonderful being that even though eventually it will "be not" it will be so much for that one moment that nothing will take it away.
I feel I've gone too philosophical in this moment of writing, as conjecture though it will remain. A humble reminder of the fear of "not."
Anyway, anyway happy thoughts of finding substance in the self, and in action.
Night all!
Dan/Yoddeuss/me |
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| falling again?! |
[Sep. 21st, 2009|08:39 pm] |
"So monkeys , Climb" Hit with an electric spark their muscles constricted onto the ropes while the floor disappeared beneath them.
A crack of the whip, "Move it or that'll be the end for you girls." Vesper the maniac with the moral boosts of pain. What a swell guy...
"You!" He raised the whip up at a man with a red scarf. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Climbing." He had nearly reached the top.
"Well then get back down!"
"But..."
"Just let go of the damn rope and finish your damn business! You're not supposed to get anywhere near the top." He let out a crack at another section of rope.
"But.."
A shock of electricity coursed through the rope, and with a muscle spasm Johnny Toro fell into the chasm beneath. A harsh laugh echoed through the fall as Vesper sent more down into the depths.
Reaching the bottom Toro was met with a Matador mat. Seeing several others falling towards the mat Johnny quickly lept up to go to another exercise.
"When will I see some real action? When will I finish this stupid training."
From far above a voice echoed down. "When you stop acting like an arse and doing things for yourself that's when you can finally get down to the real action. The stuff you always dreamt you were going to write down in history. Well it doen't get anymore real than this. High hopes, big fall, a climb to the top and who knows, maybe one time you'll actually reach the roof." |
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| Holidays, and perhaps a job! |
[Sep. 20th, 2009|03:29 pm] |
Huff, these holidays are so relaxing I'm having trouble writing even this much down. Two things so far are of the utmost importance to write down. ONE! I have a job interview tomorrow at 8.30. TWO! I'm kinda busy for the next few days with things to go to and do.
So it's a crazy existence. My two aims for these holidays will be to play more saxophone and to write more, creatively. It's interesting I have increased the number of short snippets that I write but I haven't had a chance to look back on. Or to write something that's actually at least 500 words long, 200 so far is my limit for the times that I begin writing. *Sigh.* I also want to do a whole bunch of housecleaning things, university work things, computer game things. Yet if I do them or attempt to do them, I'll end up not doing other things. Prioritizing is such a ruthless method.
Hrumph.... relaxation is great..... |
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| People are Funny, wonderful things.... Aren't they? |
[Sep. 14th, 2009|09:27 pm] |
I know everybody's perception of reality is their own personalized view of the world.
Yet can't people notice the spark of goodness in other people. And I don't mean goodness in some sort of religious "oh he's divine" way, I mean it more in a "that person's an awesome person, they make the world so much better" kind of way. Maybe I'm just weird like that, but to not see people you admire and feel enriched is something I feel, I would hate to lose.
Ironically this came from someone I'd half put in that category.
Anyway story time!
The sun shining down into the field of grass banished the damp and freshened the green. A spring day had come; sun streaming down, while puddles vaporated round straight into the dotted white sky.
Bodies shimmered in the sunshine and shivered with the passing of each cloud. The people, scattered around in clumps and sway with the wind, part of nature.
I lie there moving too, swaying, resting and dreaming, of the sun's warm dream.
A thousand people all marching on, forward individually yet known to each other. Each to cry out the others name and every fifteen steps altogether, just one. On and on they'd march again till the names came no more. Dispersing throughout the world they'd sit and stay, teach and pray the confidence made within them. Till nobody would hide in the shade.
Coolios, Goodnight
Dan Yoddeuss Me |
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| Argh no stories for a period of a month... BAH HUMBUG! |
[Sep. 7th, 2009|10:32 pm] |
Well that sums up this post. It could be a story or a whinge about the fact that there isn't any....
Or simply a way to fill up time. I'm not really sure what I'll be doing. I am tired though, so I think it'll soon be time to hit the sack.
Today was a strange day, I woke up after a dream (me doing everything while friends did nothing) to feel all stressed out about something. I'm not quite sure what it was that I was stressed about, I thought it was friends, self, women. Yet every time I thought through things no problems seemed to emerge. Well none that I was aware of.
Perhaps this is the product of some sort of subconscious worry or anxiety. In any case it disrupted my sleep and so the morning was a bit of a struggle, yet I managed.
Then it was university as normal. Japanese speaking (horrible) then a series of lectures, which while stimulating sent me to sleep.
THOUGH. There was something in the air, a sense of unease for my self. It carried through the entire day and I felt worse because of it. Possibly the source of my dream earlier this morning, or the product of something more immediate the day seemed bleak from that point on.
Words stung harder than they should...
****
A buzzing roar came up from the head of Strombos. Hushing together like a thresher of crops, the whirring inside grew and grew until it became a single sound.
I ran.
Rushing through the house to the garden outside I didn't turn my head back. Stopping for even a moment would let them reach me. Words, worth saying now felt like a death warrant, in the form of that horde. The sound reached a higher frequency as the house behind me was chewed through. Still no time for a check.
I needed water.
***
Or a good night's sleep.
No more story, it's quarter to.
Night!
Dan/Yoddeuss/Me |
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| My 19th Birthday |
[Aug. 31st, 2009|10:14 pm] |
Was all about my friends coming over.
I mean I had a LAN (Local Area Network) party, six computers all hooked up to each other to play computer games. It was extensive and big, large, grandiose, yet all I really wanted was my friends to come over to my place and have a good time, sharing an experience. And that's what exactly happened. They came, we had time together, they left.
It was weird though, I only realized this when everybody started leaving. My dismissal of going out, my grounded idea of having a party at my house, me not minding to clean and maintain the party. It was strange figuring this out and realizing that except for my Birthday my friends only really come over one or two times over at my place.
Maybe it's just an irrational belief/idea that I need to provide just as much hospitality as them or have them over to re validate their friendhood. An insecurity? I don't really know. I do go to there places quite a lot, so maybe this is in some way trying to pay back the fun I've had.
Hrumph I don't really care anymore. Instead I've got this tired contentment knowing that I've done a good job. The presents, were presents, I enjoyed them all. I can't really go into all of them.... (I basically got everything I asked for and more, unneeded compromising more :p). A new Gibson guitar, music, Fahrenheit 451, A jedi Robe, .....a wireless networking book....... and heaps more. In the end though it's all just stuff. REALLY COOL STUFF. But I appreciated everyone coming over more + the food.
Sigh* it's a funny ole world. And today everyone to uni who I semi talked to REALLY talked to me today. You know you walk around, minding your own business and then, bamn! the girl in Jap whose name you forget says hi whatcha doin? And you talk. THEN YOU BUMP INTO MORE PEOPLE. I think I like talking to people way too much....
Speaking of girls, not bad habit just perhaps bad form, I'm friends with a lot of them at uni (unavoidable) but with some of them I'll have those fleeting romantic notions of becoming best buddies and then romantically involved, etc etc. But in reality they're really just friends and if I did do anything, it'd be frivolous. Because you see, these romantic feelings are just spurred up in the moment, a fleeting glimpse of "what if." After it comes, it flees and all I see before me is a lovely woman and not the heart of my work, the soul of my being, the beat in my heart. Which is really annoying, as all of these supposed deep and meaningful feelings of romantic nature can be simply put down as fancies and not something that I'm deeply invested in. Which is neither fair nor true to the friendly relationship I have with these girls/women/females or myself.
So I'm in a bit of a bind, well mental bind with all of this, well only if I enact on it rashly. I'm more worried about my fatalistic romantic feelings, because when they find the supposed "one," I'm a sad state of affairs. Now that feeling has become all latent and sneaky, so it'll be back sometime soon, and in greater numbers! (Star wars quote)
And so I'm off to bed. No story, no poem, just eyes ready to drop and a mind thrumming with potential journal entries, not made for the likes of the free information world of the World Wide Web.
Good Night, Good Luck. Thanks for the Birthday experience and may the resulting year be as fun as the last one.
Dan/Yoddeuss/ME |
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| Life |
[Aug. 26th, 2009|10:33 pm] |
Is pretty damn funny. You go on and on and on until for some inexplicable reason things change.
Perhaps for the best, perhaps for the worst. It just happens; rewarding, judging, observing the person you are. Like your role has been called out in a play, you perform your part and it all goes ahead, reaching far off into the distance. Until the end where nothing can change your role.
So far things are pretty good.
And so I'll leave this for another day.
Dan/Yoddeuss/Me |
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| Weird Dreams |
[Aug. 21st, 2009|09:41 pm] |
Eight men, dancing dressed in white, across a barren lifeless floor, twirl around and around. Mechanical in their conduct no music pushed them along. They were enacting, remembering, not simply being.
Except for two. Passed to each other the they lived in a touch of the hand and proceeded to dance, yet with feeling. Dancing along the other men with sprightly, vivid gestures, moving the non-existent music into being, they added color to this dead place.
When the two came back together they were enraptured in each others senses and so stayed joined, a couple coming into an existence of passion. The others, still robotic watched on, not understanding the feelings of sensation, until the blushes of the two were undeniably different.
Faces now charged with anger stormed forth towards them. Three to each lover tore the two away from each other. It made no difference to the two, blushed with color and heaving sighs, they gazed at each other, no difference made. The other six, determined and still raging, bent the two over symmetrically and pointing to their groins, declared loudly "Homosexual."
And all the color built up vanished. The joy, the happiness, all for the safety of six close minded fiends, was taken away. This shocked the two out of their romantic fling with passion and with their sentence, vanished.
The six this time went into triplets arm in arm, and danced again once more in a concentrated remembrance of feeling. Not at all like what had happened, just before.
*************
Ok, weird story, true dream. Wide open for interpretation. Homoerotic, insecure, passionate, longing, fear, masochistic, homophobic, guilty, oppressed, misunderstood, alone, too friendly?
I dunno, in either case it accompanies the previous dream really well and felt really off putting, scarily so.
Maybe I feel like life is just a dance and the closer we become to living it, the more we show of ourselves and are misunderstood because of it.
I don't think that those two guys in the dream were anymore gay than the next person. Because they were no different from any of the other men, just better dancers more alive than they were "deemed" to be. Making everyone either jealous or fearful of what they were and limiting their contact before they could be anything more, to return them back to the nothing they were made from. But worse than that by making them feel as though it was not right, they defeated those two by making them regret the actuality of liberty their actions gave them.
Or, just throwing it out there, because I dreamed of dancing and enjoyed it I have suddenly become gay, or fear it to be so.
Hmph in a weird way this whole post is like that dream, I'm dancing as passionately as I want to. Yet all it'll take is a moment of doubt or a single person to come in to jeer and laugh, that my whole reality and self will be vanquished.
Not that I'm scared majorly by this dream, just it was powerful and if it didn't scream imagery at me like bloody murder then I don't know what dream does.
I blame Blake's poetry for this and that Enchanted film.
Damn it I just condemned myself. =p
Dan/Yoddeuss/Me |
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| Sunshine on your window |
[Aug. 19th, 2009|10:35 pm] |
A glittering ballroom stretches before me as I step out into the circle of dance. Faces blurred in a finery of joy and motion, smile as they whirl pass. A hand reaches forth and I am taken into the dance. No introduction is needed, I am a part and yet so much myself. Dressed like them, moving like them, yet still myself there is no rulers here only gentlefolk.
The only noise is the orchestral music carrying everyone and everything forward, to the next step and next moment. Pausing only to give rise to the anticipation of the next note giving every dancer fear of the next step. Leaving them precariously hanging onto the faith of the next beat.
Not all were timid in this. Some flew up into a flurry of steps moving the beat further and further along until they are finally spent. Yet always, after a phrase or two they rise up again and continue the dance.
I danced on with each partner shifting along the giant chain of people moving on and on till gradually I came closer and closer to the middle. Urged, not on by those peers around me, but by the rhythm itself. I skirted around it, fearing yet moving on in feeling, till there was the fear, but a euphoria of music in me. Opening my eyes I saw all had stopped in dance, in music, all waiting for the patter of my end. I went on with that fear that was so much a part of me and carried it out into the dance, putting in all my all, becoming lighter with each and every step.
First the fear, then the stress, worry, concerns, angers, until finally I lost my sense of loneliness. But it wasn't gone it was there and present, but seemingly less. And so with my last steps the music went on once again, carried in by another.
She was a princess. Striding in through the circle of dances, with an knowing gaze she ......
became my partner.
With her native hand reached out, eyes revealing all, I took her hand. And in touching it, the orchestra went up in intensity to fuel the dance even more. The notes fuller, connecting with each other more than possibly thought before. Taking a step, each beat was felt as part of our dance, responding as one.
Yet only we could hear this marvelous change and so we laughed with our eyes, talked with our hands and swooned with our feet. Happily for the rest of the night, we lived in each others footsteps, living each others lives. Knowing limits, failings, joys and successes, all within that time of joy.
It was all just an extension of the first sure footsteps of a couple.
Afterward we went out, we had plans, dates, events, I even met her family. Then just as we were going to marry, it ended and I woke up. Sad, yet happy a dream of fleeting sprightly love.
Dan/me/Yoddeuss |
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| Huff Uni |
[Aug. 17th, 2009|09:50 pm] |
I need to be more articulate in tutorials, get the rest of the cohort together in thought against GROUP MENTALITY. I mean Taoism whilst different is nothing to scoff at. Referring time and time again to Christian ideals in analyzing a different religion. I take no happiness in this discourse.
Pah!
Also uni feels lonely and clickish, sigh. This was supposed to be a long post, but was detained by a friend, and so all the want of discourse and explanation was pulled away in a flurry of msn conversation.
So I sit without words. Diminished in motive, yet naught without thoughts. I see all this as naught but a scribble on the world. Not great, never grandiose. Grammatically stretched, spelling Americanized <- . Yet for all of it, the fact that I did it.
The thought that I made that noise, thought that thought, oddly reassures me of myself. That through all things, I can for an instance be heard.
As a whisper in the howling wind of the the web, and yet a murmur in the outpouring of humanity.
Yay, I feel like a big writer now!
Dan/Yoddeuss/Me |
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| Bike ride |
[Aug. 16th, 2009|08:47 pm] |
Through the urban landscape two wheels held by a metal chassis kept the humped figure in motion.
Ugoke. Movement, not speed was the source of this persons struggle, a destination, a purpose.
A journey, through cracked lips, salty skin and the ache of muscles forgotten.
A way, devoid of cars, downhill and with the wind behind him.
A time, sunny yet windy weather of perfect contentment.
And I? Struggling along to reach a destination, I'd traveled to many times in the past.
I made it, thanks to Oliver my guide for the trip and a succession of good luck. Now, though I ache with the innate knowledge of effort and muscle use, with my head full of good natured intentions.
Play the Saxophone, write a poem, start a story.
FIE! I say back no wants will ruin this moment of savored accomplishment.
Others make this journey as frequent as you go to walk. Some take inclines and declines throughout their trips. Does this negate any of what I've done?
No, because I did it and I would do it again. An effort succeeded is worth its journey.
And mine was indeed a journey.
**********
"Indeed," Gibson boomed out over the small boy of eleven. "You think you are.... educated for the job?"
The lad was a scrape of the land around him, practically blending in with the land around him. Damn colonists, Gibson thought darkly, through thick and thin they always seemed to be the most resourceful.
"Yes sir. I've even got a paper presented to me." He, Manter something, opened up his leather bound bag producing a scroll. Dirty as it was, he flourished it with a bow handing it up to Gibson. Quaint as it was Gibson struggled not to smile.
"You'll have time enough lad for pleasantries, now recite something." Waving him back with the parchment, Manter stepped back quickly. "A piece of paper doesn't guarantee you anything," accusingly Gibson paced the room, pausing at the fireplace.
"And it can't be burnt."
Placing the parchment next to the fire he waited to see what Manter would do.
Head down, Manter mumbled slightly.
**********
Knowledge is the light of man,
a spark so few have thought to thought.
Yet paper, book, music brought
Will sway not you, your ban
For as that paper lies low
Rolling forward to that glow
The minds thought fiery, indeed
Will devour that paper as it's feed.
Gibson immediately snatched up the paper away from the fireplace. "Well done my good boy you incorporated the situation into your rhyme. Though from the writers poor sense of time and the effort placed into that I deem you... educated."
"Now for something that doesn't break the fourth wall," Gibson muttered to himself as he sat back down. Manter looked stolidly ahead, unaware of the deus ex Machinima that had just occurred due to the writers incessant need to write a poem within his story. Gibson muttering to himself as he sat down said "ban? pah." He then went on to look over the note over at his desk. Instead of the common scrawl of the village scribe, this one seemed different. The flourish of the name was a little too well developed.
**********
The lad moved his eyes up slowly to shy the glance of Gibson with a question. "You said you were exploring..." he paused weighing the words in his mind, "'beyond the realms of this existence'.." Trailing off he stared back down towards his shoes.
"Well? We are"
**********
And so they skipped out of the story and back into the mind of the writer.
Me/Yoddeuss/Dan |
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